Common morning dialogue in our house:
Me: I had the weirdest dream last night.
Jon: Really?? Oh wait, that happens every night.
Me: No, but this one was really weird...
And then I proceed to tell him the details.
I have a few recurring dreams:
1. Awkward driving dreams: I am driving a car, but something isn't right. Sometimes I am sitting in the backseat, reaching my arms up to the steering wheel. Sometimes I am heading up a hill and am at such a steep incline that I can't see the road--only the sky above me (I had this one last night--and we were on the edge of a mountain, which made it a bit more dangerous).
2. Teeth falling out: One or several of my teeth come loose, just like when I was little. I wiggle it until it comes out...and then I realize that it was one of my permanent teeth. Each time I have this thought, "I've dreamt about this happening so many times, and now it finally happened for real." And I have a sense of dread that I've just lost a tooth.
3. Snakes: Everywhere I look there is a snake, but no one else seems to notice or care. Whoever I am with will walk ahead of me down the sidewalk, but when I try, there are snakes everywhere.
Any interpretations?
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Childlike Faith
We stood watching the Main Street Disneyland Parade, where the story book characters came to life on the street. We wanted to see enough of it to feel like we'd seen it and then run to the next ride while the lines were shorter.
A little girl behind us was a much more dedicated fan. She sat quietly on her mom's shoulders, waiting. Floats came and went and not a sound was heard from her. Until two specific floats came into view. First, Alice in Wonderland. And the little girl cried out with all the passion that can be contained in a 6 year old body, "Alicia, Alicia!" (I think she was speaking French...Jon thinks Spanish). It was a desperate cry--a cry that said "if only Alice would look my way, if only she would wave at me, my life would be complete." Once Alice and her friends passed by, our little friend was quiet again...until The Little Mermaid float came by. "Ariel, Ariel!" Again, a desperate, pleading cry.
Not long after that, Jon and I slipped out of the parade crowds to find another ride...Snow White's Scary Adventure...which, by the way, is a little creepy.
Every now and then one of us will call out "Alicia, Alicia" in memory of our parade friend. And when we do, I smile--because it reminds me of her unbridled passion for her heroines, her hope that they might see her, and her belief that if they did, it would make all the difference.
Oh to have that faith.
A little girl behind us was a much more dedicated fan. She sat quietly on her mom's shoulders, waiting. Floats came and went and not a sound was heard from her. Until two specific floats came into view. First, Alice in Wonderland. And the little girl cried out with all the passion that can be contained in a 6 year old body, "Alicia, Alicia!" (I think she was speaking French...Jon thinks Spanish). It was a desperate cry--a cry that said "if only Alice would look my way, if only she would wave at me, my life would be complete." Once Alice and her friends passed by, our little friend was quiet again...until The Little Mermaid float came by. "Ariel, Ariel!" Again, a desperate, pleading cry.
Not long after that, Jon and I slipped out of the parade crowds to find another ride...Snow White's Scary Adventure...which, by the way, is a little creepy.
Every now and then one of us will call out "Alicia, Alicia" in memory of our parade friend. And when we do, I smile--because it reminds me of her unbridled passion for her heroines, her hope that they might see her, and her belief that if they did, it would make all the difference.
Oh to have that faith.
Friday, April 25, 2008
First and Only Wife
Last night we stumbled across a t.v. show that is, apparently, in its second season. Perhaps you've already seen it. It's called Big Love, and it's the story of a man with three wives.
Two and a half years ago, my college sociology prof wrote on his blog his thoughts about polygamy, arguing that legalizing polygamy would be the big cultural issue of 2020.
Less than three years later, there is already a sit-com that seems to be attempting to normalize polygamy.
I have only watched this show once, so perhaps I shouldn't comment on it. But I'm going to.
They seem to be setting up "good," "normal" polygamy against "bad" "cult-like" polygamy. The people on the show who live in a compound and blindly follow the prophet are portrayed as out of touch with reality, strange, and backwards. The people who live in the suburbs and practice polygamy are just like us--they are caring parents, business people, and engaged citizens. Their kids have ipods and dress like other teenagers. We are supposed to sympathize with this family with many wives, but we are not supposed to sympathize with the polygamists on the compound.
I find the show interesting not just because it seems to be trying to normalize a certain type of polygamy, but also because there are so many relational dynamics portrayed.
I can see reason for practicing polygamy in societies where women are considered less than human--where to be unmarried is to be unable to survive. (I think that might be what was going on in the Old Testament). But I can't see why it would be a good idea in a culture like ours.
The blog post I linked above gives lots of sociological reasons why it's a bad idea.
I tried to imagine being in a polygamous relationship...I decided that I would want to be the first wife. Actually, that's a lie...I want to be the only wife. I don't want to share my husband with someone else. I don't want to have to worry about power dynamics with other women in my own house. I don't want to sleep alone a few nights a week while he's with wife number 2. I don't want to have to find out a few days later something that happened in his life while he was with wife number 3.
Sure, second wife could watch the kids or third wife could make supper when I've run out of time...but even those two things speak of gender roles that Jon and I don't agree with--they assume that the women take care of the kids and the house while the man earns the money. Maybe an egalitarian approach would be to have a big group marriage with lots of husbands and lots of wives. (no thanks)
Maybe in a few years time we will be considered intolerant and close minded if we aren't willing to accept polygamy as a legitimate alternative lifestyle.
I'll stick to the whole one husband, one wife deal, thanks.
Two and a half years ago, my college sociology prof wrote on his blog his thoughts about polygamy, arguing that legalizing polygamy would be the big cultural issue of 2020.
Less than three years later, there is already a sit-com that seems to be attempting to normalize polygamy.
I have only watched this show once, so perhaps I shouldn't comment on it. But I'm going to.
They seem to be setting up "good," "normal" polygamy against "bad" "cult-like" polygamy. The people on the show who live in a compound and blindly follow the prophet are portrayed as out of touch with reality, strange, and backwards. The people who live in the suburbs and practice polygamy are just like us--they are caring parents, business people, and engaged citizens. Their kids have ipods and dress like other teenagers. We are supposed to sympathize with this family with many wives, but we are not supposed to sympathize with the polygamists on the compound.
I find the show interesting not just because it seems to be trying to normalize a certain type of polygamy, but also because there are so many relational dynamics portrayed.
I can see reason for practicing polygamy in societies where women are considered less than human--where to be unmarried is to be unable to survive. (I think that might be what was going on in the Old Testament). But I can't see why it would be a good idea in a culture like ours.
The blog post I linked above gives lots of sociological reasons why it's a bad idea.
I tried to imagine being in a polygamous relationship...I decided that I would want to be the first wife. Actually, that's a lie...I want to be the only wife. I don't want to share my husband with someone else. I don't want to have to worry about power dynamics with other women in my own house. I don't want to sleep alone a few nights a week while he's with wife number 2. I don't want to have to find out a few days later something that happened in his life while he was with wife number 3.
Sure, second wife could watch the kids or third wife could make supper when I've run out of time...but even those two things speak of gender roles that Jon and I don't agree with--they assume that the women take care of the kids and the house while the man earns the money. Maybe an egalitarian approach would be to have a big group marriage with lots of husbands and lots of wives. (no thanks)
Maybe in a few years time we will be considered intolerant and close minded if we aren't willing to accept polygamy as a legitimate alternative lifestyle.
I'll stick to the whole one husband, one wife deal, thanks.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Butterflied Books on the Bedside Table
Jon and I disagree about what activities are appropriate at bedtime. In my opinion, reading is the best use of those last few minutes before sleep. In Jon's opinion, turning off the light and going to sleep is the best use of those last few minutes. We have an ongoing debate about how long I can read with the light on while he is trying to fall asleep.
But I have discovered the secret to solving this domestic disagreement: give Jon a book he can't put down. Pretty soon, I am the one turning off the light first.
Right now I have 5 books sitting on my bedside table. 5 books that I have sought out in the past few weeks to be my before bed reading. 4 of these are butterflied; folded open to mark my page.
One is due back at the library in a few days, and I likely won't finish it. It's the one that's not butterflied.
One is a book I've started a few times and have never finished...it's by Louisa May Alcott. I might never finish it, but it's a good one to start when I don't have anything else to read.
One is a book I read in college and loved: "The Memory of Old Jack" by Wendell Berry. It describes places that are close to places I know and people I wish I knew. I like the familiarity of it. Chances are I won't finish it this time...but I will re-read it at some point.
One is "The Preaching Life" by Barbara Brown Taylor. Her words are poetry. I want to both sip them in slowly and drink them down in big gulps. I seem to be sipping more than gulping.
One is "The Poisonwood Bible." It's the one I'm picking up the most and leaving the light on the longest for. Maybe when I'm finished, I'll pass it on to Jon, and it will result in more time to read the other books before he says "is it time to turn off the light yet?"
But I have discovered the secret to solving this domestic disagreement: give Jon a book he can't put down. Pretty soon, I am the one turning off the light first.
Right now I have 5 books sitting on my bedside table. 5 books that I have sought out in the past few weeks to be my before bed reading. 4 of these are butterflied; folded open to mark my page.
One is due back at the library in a few days, and I likely won't finish it. It's the one that's not butterflied.
One is a book I've started a few times and have never finished...it's by Louisa May Alcott. I might never finish it, but it's a good one to start when I don't have anything else to read.
One is a book I read in college and loved: "The Memory of Old Jack" by Wendell Berry. It describes places that are close to places I know and people I wish I knew. I like the familiarity of it. Chances are I won't finish it this time...but I will re-read it at some point.
One is "The Preaching Life" by Barbara Brown Taylor. Her words are poetry. I want to both sip them in slowly and drink them down in big gulps. I seem to be sipping more than gulping.
One is "The Poisonwood Bible." It's the one I'm picking up the most and leaving the light on the longest for. Maybe when I'm finished, I'll pass it on to Jon, and it will result in more time to read the other books before he says "is it time to turn off the light yet?"
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Deceived
Two tennis rackets are perched by our front door. A set and a half of golf clubs rattle around in the trunk of our car. My road bike, which has lived in our living room all winter, in case I ever had the urge to pedal in place, has been re-released into the wilds of the garage.
Each of these is evidence of the deception we experienced last weekend. A mere 8 days ago we went to an outdoor driving range. 7 days ago, we attempted to play tennis at the courts down the street, but, finding them full, went for the first bike ride of the season in the river valley. I wore shorts and a t-shirt. And I wasn't cold. I believed that winter had finally released her grip on us. I even began to believe that Edmonton isn't that bad, after all. (That very thought ran through my head as we walked to the tennis court).
When I heard we had another cold spell coming, I was quick to defend the weather. The Parable of the Day Laborers came to mind, and I proclaimed that we shouldn't complain about a small dip in temperature--we had, after all, received an unseasonably warm two days--how could we complain about that?
But then the slight dip turned into a nose dive. And I woke this morning to this:
And it's still snowing. Just when I was ready to put away my winter clothes. Sigh. And so I am again hunkered down inside. And Jon is running a 10 mile race...outside. I don't know which one of us feels angrier. I guess now is the time to do all of that cross-country skiing that I neglected for the last 6 months of snow.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Recent Reads
I just finished reading the trendy Christian book "The Shack." Usually I try to either avoid the trends or snatch them up before they become trendy. Or, let's be honest, often I hear about a trend a few years after it's over. But, this time I think I am in the middle of it, since several other people I know are either reading or have just finished reading this book.
My thoughts...I don't want to give too much away for those who haven't read it. It's a beautiful story and a beautiful portrayal of the Trinity. Even as someone who acknowledges in my head that God is neither male nor female, I tend to speak of God as "he." The portrayal of God as neither and both was well done. This book says a lot about forgiveness, judging others, and relationships. I'll write more after I've had more time to reflect on it.
Another book I've recently read is "There Is No Me Without You." This is a wonderful story, filled with heartbreak and love, courage and disappointment. It tells the true story of a woman in Ethiopia who ends up running an orphanage. I say "ends up" because it's not what she intended to do, but as child after child ended up needing her help, she found she couldn't say no. Background information about HIV/AIDS and the political issues that have led to the crisis in Ethiopia are woven throughout the narrative. This is a great book--it might make you want to change the world!
My thoughts...I don't want to give too much away for those who haven't read it. It's a beautiful story and a beautiful portrayal of the Trinity. Even as someone who acknowledges in my head that God is neither male nor female, I tend to speak of God as "he." The portrayal of God as neither and both was well done. This book says a lot about forgiveness, judging others, and relationships. I'll write more after I've had more time to reflect on it.
Another book I've recently read is "There Is No Me Without You." This is a wonderful story, filled with heartbreak and love, courage and disappointment. It tells the true story of a woman in Ethiopia who ends up running an orphanage. I say "ends up" because it's not what she intended to do, but as child after child ended up needing her help, she found she couldn't say no. Background information about HIV/AIDS and the political issues that have led to the crisis in Ethiopia are woven throughout the narrative. This is a great book--it might make you want to change the world!
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Older?
There aren't really clear lines that we cross from one phase of life into the next. Sure, there are obvious things like getting married or having children. But, there is no clear line to determine when a person crosses from youth to adult. And from young adult to middle aged adult. And so on.
I've often wondered if I will still feel like a kid when I am 60. Because I certainly felt like kid when I turned 30...and in the words of Deana Carter, "I still remember when 30 was old."
But I've had two experiences in the past week that have made me wonder if I might be growing up (or growing older?). The first happened after I got my hair cut. I had a couple of people mistake me for a university student. That is not unusual--I have always been told I look much younger than I am. Normally, this frustrates me--I just want to look my age! I don't want to look like a university student. But last week, when one person said she thought I was a student, my gut level reaction was, "nice." I appreciated it. Strange.
The second experience happened in the mall on Saturday. I was sitting in the food court, watching all of the dynamics of various relationships get played out on several stages. And as I watched a number parents of young children find tables and get their lunch, I thought, "Wow, they look young."
I still most often feel like a kid. Some of that might be the youngest child syndrome. But maybe I'm growing "older" in small ways.
I've often wondered if I will still feel like a kid when I am 60. Because I certainly felt like kid when I turned 30...and in the words of Deana Carter, "I still remember when 30 was old."
But I've had two experiences in the past week that have made me wonder if I might be growing up (or growing older?). The first happened after I got my hair cut. I had a couple of people mistake me for a university student. That is not unusual--I have always been told I look much younger than I am. Normally, this frustrates me--I just want to look my age! I don't want to look like a university student. But last week, when one person said she thought I was a student, my gut level reaction was, "nice." I appreciated it. Strange.
The second experience happened in the mall on Saturday. I was sitting in the food court, watching all of the dynamics of various relationships get played out on several stages. And as I watched a number parents of young children find tables and get their lunch, I thought, "Wow, they look young."
I still most often feel like a kid. Some of that might be the youngest child syndrome. But maybe I'm growing "older" in small ways.
Monday, April 07, 2008
Rediscovering My Voice
In the last 9 days, I've preached the same sermon three times. The first time was for a church that I have never been to before. I preached from a manuscript. I think I was somewhat dry.
The second time, I preached for the church I'm part of. I preached from an outline, and had times for them to break into discussion groups or answer questions throughout the sermon. It was low key, relaxed, conversational.
The third time, I preached for a church I have preached at once before. I preached from an outline and used an ear piece mic and walked around the stage as a I spoke. I should have found myself boring--it was the same stuff I had preached last week. But I found I came alive and I connected with people. This is how I used to preach. But it's been a while. I've gotten so tied to the manuscript, so concerned about saying the exact right words, so comfortable standing safely behind a big podium, that my old enthusiasm and passion seemed to get squelched.
This isn't the case for everyone--I have heard dynamic preachers who use a manuscript and stay behind a podium.
And maybe there's a season for manuscripts and a season for outlines. A season for podiums and a season for walking around. But it sure felt good yesterday to be in that place again. It felt like coming home.
The second time, I preached for the church I'm part of. I preached from an outline, and had times for them to break into discussion groups or answer questions throughout the sermon. It was low key, relaxed, conversational.
The third time, I preached for a church I have preached at once before. I preached from an outline and used an ear piece mic and walked around the stage as a I spoke. I should have found myself boring--it was the same stuff I had preached last week. But I found I came alive and I connected with people. This is how I used to preach. But it's been a while. I've gotten so tied to the manuscript, so concerned about saying the exact right words, so comfortable standing safely behind a big podium, that my old enthusiasm and passion seemed to get squelched.
This isn't the case for everyone--I have heard dynamic preachers who use a manuscript and stay behind a podium.
And maybe there's a season for manuscripts and a season for outlines. A season for podiums and a season for walking around. But it sure felt good yesterday to be in that place again. It felt like coming home.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
In My Ears
Okay, so I know the big toe has been up here for way too long...finally a new post!
I received an ipod nano for Christmas and have been discovering the world of itunes. I don't actually have much music on my ipod...I'm sure I'll get there eventually...for now, I am enjoying lectures and sermons. Here are a few things I subscribe to (all free)...
1. "Speaking of Faith" is a podcast from American Public Media. In each podcast a different person is interviewed on a certain faith related topic. I find these interviews so engaging--especially the variety of topics covered. I've listened to interviews with Martin Marty about the development of Evangelicalism in the US, Eli Weisel about faith and forgiveness, a scholar about the importance of creeds to our faith, a Christian politician about environmental issues, a person who had been a Muslim extremist, and the first woman to lead the Islamic Society of North America. What I appreciate is that these are intelligent, thoughtful people speaking about their experiences and expertise.
2. NPR...if you live in Canada and miss your NPR fix, itunes can hook you up! I subscribe to two podcasts from NPR: Books and Culture.
3. Various sermons...from 10th Avenue Alliance in Vancouver to the Meeting House to Mars Hill in Michigan.
4. Pray-As-You-Go: These are short, daily podcasts that combine scripture, music, and reflections to get you refocused. I know, it sounds cheesy. I was skeptical. But it's put out by the Jesuits...and I don't think "cheese" when I think Jesuit.
5. Various chapel talks and university lectures: These are from itunesu. Some universities get big names in to speak at chapel...and then put their sermons online. Some universities post special lecture series or even entire classes. I have downloaded classes on C.S. Lewis and the Pauline Epistles that I haven't had the chance to listen to yet.
6. National Geographic Videos: Okay, these are great. I learned, for example, that there are cows that look like body builders. It's the craziest thing--you've got to see these cows. National Geographic comes alive with these videos. Fun, short, and educational.
So...that's what's playing in my ears these days. I just wish I had more listening time.
I received an ipod nano for Christmas and have been discovering the world of itunes. I don't actually have much music on my ipod...I'm sure I'll get there eventually...for now, I am enjoying lectures and sermons. Here are a few things I subscribe to (all free)...
1. "Speaking of Faith" is a podcast from American Public Media. In each podcast a different person is interviewed on a certain faith related topic. I find these interviews so engaging--especially the variety of topics covered. I've listened to interviews with Martin Marty about the development of Evangelicalism in the US, Eli Weisel about faith and forgiveness, a scholar about the importance of creeds to our faith, a Christian politician about environmental issues, a person who had been a Muslim extremist, and the first woman to lead the Islamic Society of North America. What I appreciate is that these are intelligent, thoughtful people speaking about their experiences and expertise.
2. NPR...if you live in Canada and miss your NPR fix, itunes can hook you up! I subscribe to two podcasts from NPR: Books and Culture.
3. Various sermons...from 10th Avenue Alliance in Vancouver to the Meeting House to Mars Hill in Michigan.
4. Pray-As-You-Go: These are short, daily podcasts that combine scripture, music, and reflections to get you refocused. I know, it sounds cheesy. I was skeptical. But it's put out by the Jesuits...and I don't think "cheese" when I think Jesuit.
5. Various chapel talks and university lectures: These are from itunesu. Some universities get big names in to speak at chapel...and then put their sermons online. Some universities post special lecture series or even entire classes. I have downloaded classes on C.S. Lewis and the Pauline Epistles that I haven't had the chance to listen to yet.
6. National Geographic Videos: Okay, these are great. I learned, for example, that there are cows that look like body builders. It's the craziest thing--you've got to see these cows. National Geographic comes alive with these videos. Fun, short, and educational.
So...that's what's playing in my ears these days. I just wish I had more listening time.
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