Monday, June 04, 2007

A time to move and a time to stay put

It's 9:30 p.m., though it feels more like 4 p.m. because of the summer sun that blesses us after hiding for too long all winter. I'm trying to get air moving through our apartment to compensate for our non-working a.c.

I'm also beginning to pack for our move. A move, to be honest, that I am not looking forward to. Yes, there will be some definite benefits to living off campus (like not worrying as I fall asleep about what catastrophe might show up in the middle of the night). But I really like our apartment. I like being able to just walk downstairs to work. I like the amount of space we have here. I like the view of the city, and the big windows through which we look at it. I like that weird "this used to be a hotel" feel, like having two dispensers for toilet paper and a tissue holder built into the wall by the bathroom mirror. I like the excess of cupboards in the kitchen. I like walking into the hall and seeing a bunch of students sitting on the floor talking. This has been a good place for us.

Maybe it's the not knowing what comes next that's making moving a little harder. Maybe if I knew we were moving into a cute little house with a great little yard and just enough garden space for me to grow cucumbers and tomatoes, maybe then it wouldn't feel hard to move. As it is, we are moving our stuff into storage and house sitting while we look for something else.

I tend to be a worrier (gasp, I know, you are shocked). So I worry about if we'll find something that we can afford that is big enough to fit the little bit of furniture we own, and is close enough to one of our jobs that we still will only need one car. We moved into this apartment from a tiny little basement suite in Vancouver. And when I say tiny, I mean, really, it was small...and we loved it. But since moving here we have stretched out, acquiring bits and pieces to fill our apartment...they are just bits and pieces (except for the bedroom set, which I don't think we'll ever fit into any other bedroom), but they are more than a tiny basement suite could contain.

So, I think part of why I am not looking forward to moving is because I don't know what I'm looking forward to. But I also think it's because we've been here for two years...and while that is a short amount of time, it's the longest I've stayed at one address for a long while. And I am craving stability (even while I dream about adventures, like teaching English in Thailand). I know...or, at least, I hope...that one day we will be settled somewhere. I won't have to continually send out emails letting people know our new contact information. Until then, I have to trust that in the midst of transition, God is constant.